....And the kind of expression that I am being called to step into now
When I was 18, leaving Australia to travel by myself for the first time, my mother told me “Remember, everyone you meet will be there to give you something…”
This wisdom never left me and I have lived my entire life with this knowing close to my heart, through 18 yrs of world travel and now, back in Oz. Same applies.
Spirit speaks, if you dare to listen.
When I was 18, leaving Australia to travel by myself for the first time, my mother told me “remember, everyone you meet will be there to give you something… This wisdom never left me and I have lived my entire life with this knowing close to my heart, through 18 yrs of world travel and now, back in Oz.
Yesterday, I met Nancy, when she came to check out my apartment that’s up for rent when I go to the US this summer. We discovered we had a lot in common including a strong connection to the mental health arena, both working as practitioners, both even feeling a little flat from the prospect of making a difference one on one... She tells me shes going to this event tomorrow (today) about being an iconic speaker, an all day free seminar. Of course. I was aware that there would be come kind of sell thru the event, but I have always had a deep sense of trust in myself to call the shots in mu life, besides, no one is never glued to the seat so I figured I had nothing to lose.
It ended up being a massively meaningful, wonder-FULL day packed with value and inspo - from the getgo I was glued to my seat, enthralled by both Ethan Donati and Cherie Eileirsten, neither of who I knew before but both of which I’m so happy to meet. So much resonance in the “probability of the possibility” that I could be a speaker like them one day also, that I got to see a very exciting version of myself in their reflection, abundant with the full force of vocal self expression… wooooooyeahhh
There were a couple of kids in the room too which made me reflect on times from way back, being a 15 year old in the Landmark Forum Curriculum, to being a coach in their Self Expression and Leadership Program when I was only 16!!! I just remember I loved it. I was soo good at coaching coZ I just got it, was straight up, and at that young age, i didn’t have the capacity/interest to get caught up in anyone’s story! I gave laser beam coaching, didn’t give a shit what anyone thought of me, and had no fear of getting up and sharing my story in front of all the people…!! an attention deprived triple Leo, and the second of 5 kids, i revelled in being the centre of attention over there. It was a kind of playground for me, to share, grow and SHINE for just being me (who was a neurodivergent trauma induced-ADHD characteristics, ‘indigo’, gifted kind of kid) amongst adults doing massive work! I remember them, for the most part, being appreciative of my youthful courage, willingness to be vulnerable and clarity. I felt seen, appreciated, and met from the stage of the @landmarkeducation, so much so that I wanted to be the youngest landmark forum leader ever been.!!
But instead of following that calling, I went on to finish school, and went on to study law and psychology which both ended up revealing more of the same : narrow minded short fallings of a broken system that I didn’t want to be a part of. I ended up with an Anthropology BA which was a winner, matching my incessant urge to dive into my travelling adventure, finding a sense of belonging inside of being different and not having to fit in. Breaking down social constructions and questioning the systems, was always my favourite area to explore...
Today I have over 20 yrs of anthropological human exploration, including 7 years living in my other homeland Israel over a 9 yr period…2009-2019.
A lot has happened during these wild years, including the expected wear and tear of getting older. I find myself pretty nervous to get up on stage to talk, though on the rare tv appearance, I still manage to pull it off quite well. People say I look relaxed and natural. But the truth is I’m terrified these days. I’m so used to painting - not having to say any thing coZ I am busy and focused and not to be disturbed. It’s very safe and quiet over in the painting corner. Always has been since I was a little girl. It was “the safe zone” that my mother put me in when i was upset... and has been my refuge throughout my life. But in being a refuge its also been a hiding spot. A place to quietly watch the world pass me by...
As an adult, It’s been really confronting for me to notice how ‘apologetic’ I can become on a stage, especially when I’m in Australia. Anxious of how I might be perceived, not wanting to over expose myself, hurt anyone or fuck up… I notice how hard my heart beats when I’m up there, how I need to regulate my breathing, how I rush because I am scared of taking up too much time, space… I ask myself what happened? where did this come from? But I know…. so so much happened. it’s actually no real surprise. The fact that I’m even here to tell the tale is nothing short of a massive miracle. I guess my years of painting have been setting me up for this moment… experiencing, learning, and humbly working out what it is that I am here to share to make a difference in this world.
Belonging? Mental health? Spirituality? My explorations and understandings of these topics bring me peace and freedom - I wonder if I can impart wisdom so that others can feel it too....?
For me, connection to spirit can looks an infinite amount of ways because it’s so personal. Ultimately, our connection to spirit (aka something greater) it is a way for us to awaken to our response-ability and consciously interact with the spirit of life. The magic of manifestation, and the principle of divine receiving. Learning the difference between fact and stories, appreciating the spirit of truth over any kind of illusion of “truth” and prioritising connection & community. I have been obsessed with the magical forces of creative flow, how awareness and compassion intersects to heal trauma, and the play between determinism and free will…. To name a few of my favourite things. Thus, my main problem is that I have so much to share- where do to start… ? And does it all sounds too hoo ha for the market that I wish to impact? The noes who are burnt out and disconnected, who want to awake MORE than what meets the eye....
So I am posing this question now to YOU the people of my community:
Are you interested to learn the mechanics of living a conscious life and seeing how the magic unfolds in your own perception and experience?
Please send me an email back if you are keen or have some guidance on how I can frame my teachings to be received by the ones who need it the most